Tips for Dating in Your 40s: From the First Message to the First Date

As a more experienced person, dating in your 40s should be a cinch, but all too often, it feels like an uphill struggle. On the plus side, the dating pool is often fairly full because there are those who never found time to get married, as well as newly-single divorcees to.

Before you dive right in, it helps to take a bit of time to prepare in advance. Sure, you could meet another 40-something single right now, but if you don’t do your homework, there’s a good chance it won’t be a success.

To help you get started, we have five killer tips that will help make dating in your 40s go with a swing!

#1: Choose Your Partner Wisely by Checking Their Profile

It’s easy to find someone you’re attracted to, but finding someone you’re truly compatible with can be tougher. When you’re dating in your 40, you will be more confident, but you may also be a bit more discerning about the kind of partner you want.

That’s one reason why so many mature singles nowadays opt for online services made for dating over 40; first and foremost, it’s a quick way to check out a prospective partner’s aspirations and interests without all the small talking at local bars and clubs! All that they do is register on such a dedicated platform and start enjoying a huge pool of single people over 40 looking for romance.

So if you do choose to find someone through online dating sites, don’t be afraid to have a thorough look through their profile. Their bio and description should provide real insight into their personality, and this will help you to make a wise choice.

#2: Prepare the First Conversation in Advance

There’s nothing better than a date where the conversation just flows, and if you’ve been chatting online for a while first, that can sometimes be the case. When you have a date where the conversation is natural, you’ll be itching to meet up again very soon.

However, that doesn’t mean that a date where the conversation is a bit stilted is a failure. It’s very common to suffer from a complete blank and forget what you were going to say. After a few dates, you probably won’t experience this problem, but it can be tricky getting to that point.

One solution is to prepare conversation in advance so if there’s an awkward pause you’ve got something ready to get things moving again. It may feel disingenuous, but it’s only to help you both get past first-date nerves and create an ice-breaker.

#3: Be Honest

Historically, one of the biggest problems with meeting a new partner was whether you both wanted the same things. They might be looking for a quick hook-up, while you might be hoping for a serious relationship. If there’s a mismatch, pressing ahead with a date will only end in disappointment, so it’s important to be honest from the start.

In modern relationships, singletons are usually more transparent about their wants and needs, and it’s important that you are too. If you’re not honest about what you really want, you’ll never find your ideal relationship because you’ll be too busy trying to keep everyone else happy.

#4: Be Sure You’re Both Ready to Date

When you’re young and looking for a partner, you’ll be carrying far less emotional baggage. Contrast this to your 40s, when you may have a string of failed relationships or broken marriages in your past. This can mean you’re not as ready for a new relationship as you might like - and if you try dating too soon, it will be a recipe for disaster.

When you find someone you like, look out for any warning signs that they’re not ready to date. They might be saying the right things, but if there are any flags that they’re still getting over previous relationships, it might be preferable to move onto someone else.

#5: Pick the Right Type of Activity and Venue

The likelihood of a date succeeding can sometimes be determined by something as simple as the activity you choose to do. If your date doesn’t like the outdoors and you plan a day of hiking, you can more or less guarantee you won’t be meeting up again.

If you have the chance to look through their profile for compatibility, you will be able to see what their likes and dislikes are. Plan a date around one of their hobbies, and you’ll both enjoy yourselves much more.

Some ideas for successful first dates include:

• Cooking classes for singles who are foodies who enjoy being in the kitchen;
• A day trip out on a steam train for a train enthusiast;
• A guided walk for a birdwatcher or someone who likes the outdoors;
• A trip to a brewery for a beer-lover.

Find out more about your date, and you’ll be sure to think of the right type of activity which will break down barriers and ensure you both have lots of fun!