What Life After Divorce for Men Over 40 Is Like

For men over 40, life after divorce is very different from what their married friends think. Who hasn't heard the old advice given to newly divorced guys that they should immediately get out there and find someone new to help them get over their divorce.

The problem is that for most guys over age 40, swapping what they thought was a stable and happy married life for that of a bachelor around town or even trying to be a bit of a playboy can fail to feel right.

Regardless of what caused the marriage to break up, men over 40 need to give themselves time to adjust to becoming something new. This may be learning to live as a single dad or taking more care of their finances if they have an ex-partner and children to support.

Sorting out the practicalities

If you are over 40 and facing a divorce, you will need time to learn to live by yourself again. During this time, you will be going through your divorce proceedings. It can help to get assistance in the form of legal mediation at this point to help you and your ex-partner ensure that you both can start your new lives in a good position.

Legal mediation isn't like marriage counselling. It is the process of getting your legal practicalities sorted out at the end of your marriage. You get the help of a professional family lawyer or solicitor to negotiate the practical aspects of your divorce.

This is especially helpful if the feelings and emotions between you and your ex-partner are raw, and you cannot reach an agreement over the division of your marital assets. By using the advice and support of a trained legal mediator, your divorce will be much more amicable and fair for both parties.

Matters negotiated and agreed on during legal mediation will include the fair division of property and financial assets, establishing parental responsibilities and access to children, an agreement for child support, and if spousal support is also needed. 

Once all of these legal practicalities are sorted out, it will be a great weight lifted off your mind. This will enable you to focus on starting your new life and settling into your role as a co-parent.

Dating over 40

There may come a time when you are ready to start dating someone new. Getting back into the dating game will not be the same as the first time around. You will find that dating as a mature man is a whole different game. 

You will also have your children to consider. It may be challenging to start and maintain a new relationship if you have your kids over to stay every other weekend. 

If you find someone special, you need to be careful when introducing them to your children. What if they don't get along? Would you be able to give up your new love for the sake of your children? What if your new partner has children from a previous relationship? What if her children don't like you? 

These are the questions you need to ask yourself before you jump back into dating. Give yourself plenty of time to adjust to your new situation, and you will know when the time is right or if you have met the perfect person when they finally come along. 

Finally getting over your divorce

If there is one thing you can do right from the start to help you get over your divorce is to make sure it is adequately settled through legal mediation. Men don't tend to get over the emotional turmoil until all the practicalities are settled. 

You will only be able to get over your divorce and move on if there are no nagging issues left on your mind long after signing on the dotted line.